Stronger than yesterday

I guess most of us had a moment of "low self-esteem" where we tend to underestimate ourselves of being not pretty, not handsome, have acne-problem, obese, fat and so on. In fact, being ugly can really make us lack of confidence. I know the world is saying "no one is ugly, everyone is beautiful in their own way". I can be one of the example that i used to have low self-esteem. I said I used to have but now i guess still a little lah. Some people whom know me, mostly know that i used to have skin problem which known as acne problem. You know how hard is it having acne on the face ? Not just acne, but even with scar on it ): So horrible ! I'm so envy of people who's having flawless skin, whenever i see those girls with flawless skin and i will be like how the heck can have such a beautiful skin, why not me ? Well, as we know everyone's body is different. Most probably it caused of hormones, otherwise hygienic.

I've spend a lot on skin care products. I keep changing products when i think is not suitable for my face. I even when to consult Doctor. Yes, it really cure after the treatment but afterall the problem comes back again. Then, I stopped relying on Doctor and expensive products. I start to search Youtube for "How to cure acne" and then i came across a Youtuber whom is Bubzbeauty (Y) She's my Angel and motivator ! Bubz had different kind of DIY Skincare routine so i learned from her. After I did those mask about 1-2 months, I start to see the result of my skin, is really much much better than last time. In addition, my relative and friends even asked me "Wow, you skin gets much better already !", "what face product did you use ?" and blablablabla........ Besides than using the mask that I learn from Bubz, also, I start to eat healthily and force myself to drink tomato juice as i know tomato is good for our skin. *actually i hate to eat tomato*

To be frank, I'm so afraid of being ugly. I always wanted to get plastic surgery, I've actually do some research about plastic surgery and i told myself when i earn lots of money, i must fly to Korea for plastic surgery. I have thought about the disadvantage of plastic surgery but i don't care, i know if I did that, i'm sure the people is going to judge me saying that i'm plastic this and that but I still won't care of what they said because as long I can be pretty, I'm happy and satisfy. Don't say I'm silly because having this type of thoughts is very common. I'm sure most of the celebrities had plastic surgery too.

When i was having skin problem, my life is tough and miserable. I don't communicate with people, I seldom step out from the house, I seldom go for events or parties because i really don't have the confidence. I'm afraid they may feel disgust of my face with acne and scar ): There's once I've got hurt by some bimbo, they've been teasing my face condition. Those fuckers they question me like " Why are you having so much acne on ur face ? How can  a girl having so much acne blablablabla....." You know how hurt is it ?!! I cried silently whenever i'm alone, that time i wish someone could comfort me and advise me but I've no guts telling anyone regarding about my face condition. You thought i want this condition is it ? I have no choice, its because my hormone ! You can't blame me for that okay ): You know how hurt or not ?!!!! DAMNNNNNNNN FUCKING HURT, YOU HURT MY PRIDE ): Because of your words, it makes me really lack of confidence..... i tend to bend down my head whenever i pass by anyone. I really hate those fuckers whom always tease about my face, even the closest family also have been teasing me. Why can't they give me encouragement and more supportive ?! They think is really funny for teasing others ? just because they don't face such situation ?!! None of them gave me support, I rely on myself and I do a lot of research and start surfing on Youtube and Bubz is the only person whom give her inspiration words to me, she brighten up my world. I LOVE HER SHO MUCH ! <3

 The other person whom could give me strength is God, yes He's the one whom makes me feel better. He heal me ! Thanks God. Anyhow, i need to know that everyone is imperfect. Because of those situation, it even makes me became even stronger.

Now, my skin are getting much better than last time. But, still need more improvement. It take sometimes to heal my skin, so I won't give up no matter what. I don't care how much the cost is, i will still invest money on my face. You'll never understand my situation except people who's having skin problem like me, we truly understand how tough it is ! But we're always more stronger than yesterday.

Okay, I think some of you must be very surprise with this post. From onwards, I'm not going to care how people going to judge me. I just wanna be a better of myself. No one is perfect !

Hey ya

Okay firstly, I wanna fuck myself for being lazy to update blog. Seriously, I'm really lazy even i have plenty of time. I wanted to close down but I mm sek dak, so i leave it like this. Actually, I don't know what to blog about. I'm so impressed with other bloggers where they can blog about anything. I don't wanna rant so much of not being blogging often.

Well, CNY are finally over ): CRIEEESSSSS. Among all the festive celebration, I love celebrating Chinese New Year the most. I do love Christmas celebration too but I prefer CNY more ! You know why ? Because I can feel the warmth from 'em, the CNYE where all the families will gather at grandma's place, don't you love that feeling ? I love it, i really love family gathering. Is not about getting many ang pows and food, it is rather about the warmness and love from the family. Yet, is rarely for some of them to gather with the family as they're too busy with their working life. Grandma is definitely proud to see everyone gather at the dining table with laughter and joy. I don't know why some people don't like CNY, lol whyyyyy ? Ok whatever is non of my business.

Wondering about my college life right ? Hmmm, I don't wanna mention anything about that. Everything is fine and I'm happy with my life now.

See I'm stuck now, I don't know what else to blog about. Lastly, I will end with the recent pic of mine heeeeee

My advance birthday celebration

OMG ! I know, it's been quite sometimes i have not update my blog. I'm lazy and life is hectic with assignments given by bloody college. Almost everyday I have to rush for my assignments, all the due dates are too soon. And the fact is I do the assignments every last minute, i mean my last minute is like today is the due date, I do it for the 2-3 days. That's better, because i see some of my classmate even super-last-minute, which day do it last night where the due date is next day morning. I don't know how can they manage to do it, because very last minute is really rush ! For me, I can't, I rather die then. Yet, recently, I'm rushing my comics. Have you ever heard a mass-commer need to draw ? Pfffttt, it doesn't make sense a mass commer have to draw. I told my friend, I think we can change course already cause we are asked to draw. I wanted to hire people to draw for me but in the end i draw myself. Lecturer should give me extra marks because my story is based on real story and everything I draw myself. So, i should get extra marks for my extra efforts. Okla, don't wanna talk about assignments . . .

So, on Wednesday which is 23rd October. My lovely classmate celebrated my advance birthday and Jane's birthday @ The Street Cafe. Well, they gave us surprises. At first, Kuby asked me to go Street Cafe is because we have to discuss about our assignment so I didn't suspect anything. So, on that day after class, we're heading to Street Cafe, at the same time 2 of my classmate also following me, I didn't know they're joining us so I asked them "You guys wanna join us for lunch ?" ( I didn't know they wanna join us at Street Cafe so I asked them ). 

After we sat down at Street Cafe, one by one of my classmate are joining us too. I was like hmmm why suddenly they join us. . . Is actually quite suspicious, because before we go Street Cafe, one of my friend wishes me Happy Birthday and I was like huh ? today is not my birthday (It should be on 27th October). . . So is very suspicious, and I tend to think too much and too far (quite thick face horr). . . Actually I did suspect are they going to celebrate my birthday ? Yeah in the end, when everyone sat down, my babe Purbee and Christine came out with the birthday cake (and I was like I knew it). Even though I already suspect but it's still a surprise for me. I'm so happy and feeling loved. Thanks a lot Babe Purbee, Christine, Revti, Elaine, Kuby, Jane, Revti, Joanna planning this surprise birthday. And, not to forget the 3 guys who joined us too, Andrew, Guo Ming and Nesty. Thanks ya lovely people (: God bless us all.

 Me and Jane birthday (Jane suppose to be on 31st October) But we celebrated it in advance and together.Yay

They should have give me hint before giving me surprise, then I can dress up nicer and makeup right ? Next time please give me hint okay hahahaha (just kidding). If anyone of you are reading this, thanks for the celebration ya, THANKS A LOT. I'm so grateful and happy.

Last but not least,

I love this photo so much. It looks like we're shooting for commercial ! I love you guys sho much, muaaxxxx (:

I have to back to my comic assignments (I'm so lazy to draw) ):  Toodles ya

Look forward

Hello there (:
I'm actually blogging in the college now and i know I've been not blogging that often due to preparing for finals. I'm so stressed out lately and now i'm so free. Yeah my final are officially over. My head was crack up and i'm pretty exhausted because of Media Law paper, seriously studying this freaky subject really can caused me high blood pressure and real tension. I'm so worried that I would fail the subject and I have to retake or resit and i don't wish that to happen. Actually, I'm quite disappointed with myself today, I think I screw up the paper, just hopefully I would pass with whatever shit I've answer. No matter what, I'm ready to accept whatever the result is. I guess I didn't prepare enough for the test, fine now say so many also useless cause it's already over. I shall now look forward for the Semester 3 and of course pretty nervous to wait for the result. Gonna work really hard for the next semester. Everything is not easy but I believe everything is possible when you work hard for it. 

My brain is really exhausted now, yet I have to do my theory homework and practice violin later arrghh. I got to pamper myself some treat sooner. I guess that's all for now, can't think any of words now. My brain need rest hahahaha. 

TOODLES (:

Bikini Blaster !

Hey peep peeps (:

How's your day ? I hope you're doing great. Well, if you were to ask me how am i ? Hmm, I'm fine but sometimes I'm not fine because final is around the corner. I'm so anxious, worried that I will fail any of my subject, arghhh *touch wood* CANNOT FAIL ! NO FAILING ! I will study hard of course, and will do my best. 

I've been busy with preparing for finals and violin concert. But still I spent a 45 mins to workout. You know, I can't skip my workout day, i feel guilty and lack of something.Yet, I try my best to spend a 45 mins workout even the final is around. I am very determined to get a bikini body that if I want I could go prancing about naked and feel great (I won't though, don't worry) 

These are just a few of the things that I am going to be doing myself and feel free to join in and try and get that bikini body with me!

 

Listen to music that gets your blood pumping 

 So the one of the first things that I like to do is make myself a lovely little playlist to get me in the mood to either work out or just to jump around my room acting silly. I definitely need music when working out ! So this tracklist is what I like to call my "Bikini Blaster" Playlist There are quite a few songs on my playlist but ya know what, I'm just going to tell you them all and you can pick what you want from it! These songs are songs that make me happy or make me want to dance or belt, you know, the usual ! The songs that you'll find in this playlist are the following: 

1. C'Mon - Ke$ha

2. Sister Rosetta - Breaking Dawn Part 1 

3. Radioactive - Marina & The Diamonds

4. Pound the Alarm - Nicki Minaj

5. Kiss N Tell - Ke$ha

6. Rattle - Bingo Players

7. Dont you worry child - Swedish House Mafia

8. Fuck you Betta - Neon Hitch 

9. Dynamite - Taoi Cruz 

10. Clarity - Zedd

11. Beauty and a Beat - Justin Bieber

12. Call Me Maybe - Carly Rae Jepsen

13. I knew you were trouble - Taylor Swift

14. Hit the Lights - Selena Gomez

15. Ill be your man - James Blunt

16. I could be the one - Avicci

17. How to be a Heartbreaker - Marina and the Diamonds

18. Tik Tok - Ke$ha

19. Whip it - Nicki Minaj

20. Heads will Roll - Remix Yeah Yeah Yeahs

21. My Heart Is Remix - Tiffany Alvord 

22. Pound the Alarm - Nicki Minaj 

23. Sex Yeah - Marina and the Diamonds

24. Monster - Dotexe

25. Primadonna - Marina and the Diamonds

26. Champagne Showers - LMFAO 

27. Find Yourself - John O'Callaghan 

28. Dirty Talk - Wynter Gordon

29. Latch - Disclosure

30. White Noise - Disclosure

31. Language - Porter Robinson

32. Domino - Jessie J

33. Dont stop the party- Pitbull

34. Cry - Bingo Players

It's boring to workout without music. So, music is really important :D

Buying your dream dress

Buying nice, pretty, sexy clothes always makes me happy and gives me inspiration to get slimmer! You always want to look nice in your cute little outfits and even just looking through magazines in your house can give you ideas for different items that you might want to purchase any you demand for ! Dressing up makes you even more confidence (:

Look at some "Slimspiration" photos 

Basically, I will surf tumblr, pinterest, or weheartit to look for some bikini body photo. Not only from there, I follow all the inspiration body, gym, fitness on instagram. When you scroll down my instagram, it's all about fitness and people who has successful diet. Those really motivates me and give me a huge inspiration and tell me not to give up and keep going. I will never go for "skinny". I want slim and fit ! 

EXERCISE 

Now, this is something that I hate to do at first. Everyone hates exercise don't they? Afterall, I get used to and I started to love exercise !  At first I'm not enjoying doing exercise because of the soreness and tiredness but WRONG ! Yes, it is tiring but now I ENJOYED WORKING OUT because Sore Is The New Sexy. If you "jio" me go exercise, I will definitely go ! Some people do not enjoy doing exercise (apart for weird humans who are aliens) but it is most definitely something that needs to happen so that you shed a few pounds. This is especially essential if you aren't overweight to begin with as losing weight can actually be quite hard so dieting on its own will not work. As the famous saying goes, "no pain, no gain". What I am aiming to do is exercise intensely at least twice a week, doing quick intense regimes and then leaving resting for a short period of time and doing the same thing over again. It has been proven that the body will lose more weight if you do these intense exercises instead of say, going for a long run. I have also set myself a goal that if i feel up to it I can also do workout videos throughout the week. 

DON'T STOP !

Eat Better & Drink More Water

This is the most important part ! As you know, drinking water is really really important for our body. Drinking water can be a useful tool in a dieter’s arsenal when weight loss is a goal. water is extremely good for you and helps hydrate your skin and hair and can even make you feel fuller instead of eating.So, make sure you drink plenty of water, bring along your water bottle wherever you go. Your body needs water ! Next, eat clean ! eat healthy ! Yes you have to be really consistent on your food. Try adding fruits and veggies to every meal, you will not only fill up faster, but you will learn that veggies and fruits are yummy and not hard to eat. The nutrients from fruits and veggies are hard to find in processed foods. Your body NEEDS/CRAVES the real stuff.

NO FAST FOOD 

Fast food is damaging. it has nothing real. REGARDLESS of what they say on the T.v. its awful. Think of your favorite fitness idol…or favorite Hollywood Trainer. You do NOT see anyone of those people eating fast food. AVOID FAST FOOD !

EAT FOR THE BODY YOU WANT, NOT THE BODY YOU HAVE.

Set yourself a goal

This is one of the most important steps in losing weight and feeling overall better. Setting yourself a goal gives you something to strive for and being realistic with your goal is also a much healthier way of losing weight.  Tracking your progress can also make setting this goal easier so you know what you've done ! Remember to take a photo of you now. You will be surprised when you see now and then. 

Downloading Apps for your smartphone

I dont know about all of you but I am constantly on my android. Its like my little baby. So i decided that downloading a number of apps will definitely help me work out and give me the inspiration to continue. Some of the apps that i downloaded include:

• My Fitness Pal - This app basically helps you track the amount of calories you are eating per day and ensures that you dont go over your calorie intake. Eating around 1200ckal for a girl will normally mean that she will be losing weight, so aim for eating around that every day. 
• Davina Fitness - This app is Davina McCalls fitness regime and it has great exercises that you can do in your house. I love this app also as it give you your BMI. 
• Diet Coach - This allows you to set reminders constantly throughout the day to help keep you motivated and to not slip up! Its a great app.

Make a Progress Blog

Making a tumblr blog can really help you stay on track and can even allow you to make friends who may be doing the same thing. Encouragement from others is always great! 

So they are just a few of my tips and tricks! I'll be doing them all as well and may even update you in a few months to how its going! HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A LOVELY DIET REGIME WITH ME! XOXO's

I don’t know why we all hang on to something we know were better letting go. It’s like were scared to lose what we don’t even really have. Some of us say we’d rather have that something than absolutely nothing, but the truth is, to have it halfway is harder than not having it at all.

You know what your problem is? You get attached, fast. And once you’re attached to someone, you do everything you can to please them and make them happy. It’s never been about what you want; it’s always everyone’s needs before your own. You give out too many chances to people, who quite frankly, do not deserve them. They take advantage of you, and you become a pushover. But you’re okay with that, because they’re in your life and that’s all you ever really wanted. And even if they screw you over, you’ll still be there for him. Because that’s you, that’s who you are. Once you get attached to someone, they capture your heart and they always have a place there. And that is why it’s so hard for you to let go.

I get the whole “He’s the only guy i’ve ever really been in love with" part. It’s hard to let go, hard to move on to someone else and think you’ll never find anyone with such characteristics or chemistry like you two had, but I promise you, once you let go and move on, you’ll find out that, deep down, the only feelings you have for him might be just the fact that you’ll always love him. You may not want him back, you might just be scared to move on without him.

Nobody wants to hear this but sometimes the person you want the most, is the person you are best without.

Dear whoever is reading this,

I understand how rough things are right now. I just want to let you know that things will get better, I promise. Keep holding on just a little bit longer. I know you feel like nobody really cares. You’re wrong, stop denying it. I care, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this. You’re not alone, we may be miles away but we’re all going through the same things. Please keep holding on.

whoever you are, I love you. :)

Girlfriend

Heylo (:

Basically, there are this girl I know her since I were age 13 in high school. The first sight i saw her in my eyes, she's beautiful, I still remember that scene we smile to each other but we were stranger. Me & her are from different class, but at certain time, she moved to my class and then we started introducing each other and all. That time we were not close at all, we don't talk too. We're like acquaintance only. At the age of 14, we get the same class, yet we started being close to each other. We started to hang out with each other. If I not mistaken, our first hang out place is at Sunway. From the day onwards, our friendship grow closer and closer until today our friendship still the same. 

Although me & her have been through many obstacles, we argue for several times like how those usual couple used to do and so on. Non of friendship is perfect, every friendship have their own argument. Also, we've done a lot of things together. Wherever we go, we always stick with each other until people often asked if both of us were twins, but we didn't deny, we told them yes WE'RE TWINS and people still believe  hahaha ! We are like sister, twins, friends, bestfriend, couple, husband and wife. Seriously, we were once stick to each other like the sticky gum, no matter how hard people tried to separate us, we still remain the same. To be frank, we have same interest which both of us love music, shopping, dresses and so on. We even learn instrument together, she learn piano and I learn violin. How cool right ? I'm so grateful to have her in my life. I love her very much, Adelene Tan !

Things started to be apart since we both from different college, we have our own life. As you know college life is really hectic with full of assignments and test. So, we rarely hang out together, even sometimes we rarely talk to each other. It just when we have plenty of time and we will text each other or else we busy with our own stuff. I was quite sad and worried if our friendship will turn to stranger and acquaintance. Although I have met new friends from NS and college, but she's the best & amazing girlfriend that I ever know. Come on, our friendship have been through 7 years of good and bad! Maybe, those day she might think I've neglect and forget about her since I got new friends, but NO dear, I never change, my heart still remain the same, your position in my heart are still the same. Seriously, I swear, I miss her even when I'm in the college, I always had the thought of how good if she's here with me. Girlfriend, if you ever read this, I want you to know that actually if you have hardship or things need to share, you always can come to me and talk. I always be there for you, I know I'm not good at comforting people but I will try my best to cheer you up. I will support you from bottom of my heart. 

Both of us have be wanting to travel with each other to overseas, I believe someday our dreams will come true :D We will go honeymoon together okay ? That's our deal. 

Last but not least,

I wanna wish her HAPPY 19 BIRTHDAY ADELENE !

You're the most beautiful star that shines on earth. You're the brightest light of happiness in my life. Another year older, another year wiser. Well at least we are growing up to be what you meant to be, the hottest girl around. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GORGEOUS BABE ! Take care yourself and wish you all the best in everything, Good luck in your degree ! I will remember you in my every prayer sweetie. 

Thanks God for bringing her into my life. I'm so grateful that God allow me to met such amazing bestie throughout my life. Well, there are 2 person that mean so much to me which is my bestfriend & him. *Although me and him are apart but I always try to feel my heart closer to his heart even we did not talk.I feel grateful to met you too ACYH!*

I love my girlfriend like how I love him. I love him like how i love my girlfriend (: I love her truly madly deeply in love with you, HUG AND KISSES !

Don't you think both of us look alike ? Of course lah, we are twins ! Me & my girlfriend.

P/s : I can't find any photo of me and her ): I accidentally deleted the files that store our photo as my memory are full, I didn't know so I deleted arrrghhhh ): So, I have to combined our photo like this. But still i love that pic though, the sister look !

Meeting new friend is easy, you can have thousand of friends but for me i just need one and only one best friend, that's enough for me. Even you have fucking thousand of friends, do you they will be there for you when you're down and care about you ? Yes they may but only a few sincere will come to you. Yet, I can say that building a true friendship is ain't easy ! Is just like how we build a relationship, at first may be easy but following on may be complicated because you will go through argument and stuff. We need to give commitment, faithful, and loyal ! 

Until here then,
XO's