Stronger than yesterday

I guess most of us had a moment of "low self-esteem" where we tend to underestimate ourselves of being not pretty, not handsome, have acne-problem, obese, fat and so on. In fact, being ugly can really make us lack of confidence. I know the world is saying "no one is ugly, everyone is beautiful in their own way". I can be one of the example that i used to have low self-esteem. I said I used to have but now i guess still a little lah. Some people whom know me, mostly know that i used to have skin problem which known as acne problem. You know how hard is it having acne on the face ? Not just acne, but even with scar on it ): So horrible ! I'm so envy of people who's having flawless skin, whenever i see those girls with flawless skin and i will be like how the heck can have such a beautiful skin, why not me ? Well, as we know everyone's body is different. Most probably it caused of hormones, otherwise hygienic.

I've spend a lot on skin care products. I keep changing products when i think is not suitable for my face. I even when to consult Doctor. Yes, it really cure after the treatment but afterall the problem comes back again. Then, I stopped relying on Doctor and expensive products. I start to search Youtube for "How to cure acne" and then i came across a Youtuber whom is Bubzbeauty (Y) She's my Angel and motivator ! Bubz had different kind of DIY Skincare routine so i learned from her. After I did those mask about 1-2 months, I start to see the result of my skin, is really much much better than last time. In addition, my relative and friends even asked me "Wow, you skin gets much better already !", "what face product did you use ?" and blablablabla........ Besides than using the mask that I learn from Bubz, also, I start to eat healthily and force myself to drink tomato juice as i know tomato is good for our skin. *actually i hate to eat tomato*

To be frank, I'm so afraid of being ugly. I always wanted to get plastic surgery, I've actually do some research about plastic surgery and i told myself when i earn lots of money, i must fly to Korea for plastic surgery. I have thought about the disadvantage of plastic surgery but i don't care, i know if I did that, i'm sure the people is going to judge me saying that i'm plastic this and that but I still won't care of what they said because as long I can be pretty, I'm happy and satisfy. Don't say I'm silly because having this type of thoughts is very common. I'm sure most of the celebrities had plastic surgery too.

When i was having skin problem, my life is tough and miserable. I don't communicate with people, I seldom step out from the house, I seldom go for events or parties because i really don't have the confidence. I'm afraid they may feel disgust of my face with acne and scar ): There's once I've got hurt by some bimbo, they've been teasing my face condition. Those fuckers they question me like " Why are you having so much acne on ur face ? How can  a girl having so much acne blablablabla....." You know how hurt is it ?!! I cried silently whenever i'm alone, that time i wish someone could comfort me and advise me but I've no guts telling anyone regarding about my face condition. You thought i want this condition is it ? I have no choice, its because my hormone ! You can't blame me for that okay ): You know how hurt or not ?!!!! DAMNNNNNNNN FUCKING HURT, YOU HURT MY PRIDE ): Because of your words, it makes me really lack of confidence..... i tend to bend down my head whenever i pass by anyone. I really hate those fuckers whom always tease about my face, even the closest family also have been teasing me. Why can't they give me encouragement and more supportive ?! They think is really funny for teasing others ? just because they don't face such situation ?!! None of them gave me support, I rely on myself and I do a lot of research and start surfing on Youtube and Bubz is the only person whom give her inspiration words to me, she brighten up my world. I LOVE HER SHO MUCH ! <3

 The other person whom could give me strength is God, yes He's the one whom makes me feel better. He heal me ! Thanks God. Anyhow, i need to know that everyone is imperfect. Because of those situation, it even makes me became even stronger.

Now, my skin are getting much better than last time. But, still need more improvement. It take sometimes to heal my skin, so I won't give up no matter what. I don't care how much the cost is, i will still invest money on my face. You'll never understand my situation except people who's having skin problem like me, we truly understand how tough it is ! But we're always more stronger than yesterday.

Okay, I think some of you must be very surprise with this post. From onwards, I'm not going to care how people going to judge me. I just wanna be a better of myself. No one is perfect !